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Band 5.5

Walking is known to be beneficial for health yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reason for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people #reason
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Exercise
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 on daily basis like walking is beneficial to our
health
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.
However
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, recently,
people
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 spend less time
on
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apply
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walking
due to
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 the advancement of
transportation
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 and technology and
this
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 may lead to the rise of several diseases like obesity.As the situation is alarming, both
government
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 and schools need to take steps to alleviate the problem. Regarding the reasons why fewer
people
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 are walking these days, the most significant reason popping into mind is that
people
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 are more relying on
transportation
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 than ever.
People
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, especially those living in the city, lead a hectic life and treasure efficiency. With the well-developed
transportation
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 system,
people
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 can travel anywhere easily by different means like buses and trains,which are very convenient.
This
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in
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,in
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 turn, changes the habit of
people
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 and most of them would prefer using public
transportation
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 over walking even though they travel to somewhere within a walking distance.
Besides
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, with the advancement of technology,
people
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 would rather glue their eyes to the computer screen or mobile screen for a long period of time than go out or do outdoor activities. They spend long hours sitting in front of their work desk and computer and they have low motivation in going out after work and seldom do walking exercises. When they walk, they may find that it is difficult and they may easily get fatigued
due to
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 lack of training in the past. In order to tackle
this
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 problem, both
government
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 and schools can take several steps to increase public awareness of
this
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 issue.
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Government
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The government
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 may rise public awareness and educate citizens through television advertisements and launching campaigns that promote
health
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.
People
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 should know that walking is a kind of simple
exercise
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 and it may improve
people
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's cardiovascular function if
people
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 are able to walk more than 30 mins every day. At school, teachers should not only focus on
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students'
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student's
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 academic performance
,
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but,
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they should
also
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 pay attention to
students
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' physical development. They should help
students
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 to cultivate
exercise
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 habits by lengthening the duration of physical education classes or encouraging
students
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 to join different extracurricular sports activities after school. Once
students
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 build up better fitness at school, they may no longer think that walking is demanding and they will walk more in daily life. In conclusion, as
people
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 nowadays seldom walk and it may bring a negative impact on
people
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's
health
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, both
government
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 and schools should be responsible for promoting
health
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 and
exercise
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 habits in order to rise public attention to
this
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 issue.
Submitted by jenniferkw0726 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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