Some people think that parents have a great in!uence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger infuence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #uence #children #media #infuence

Who is a better influencer for

children

is always a big concern.Some argue that

parents

are very close to their pupils so they impact the most.

In contrast

,others think that today's media

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a vital role.I will discuss both points of view in forthcoming paragraphs and give my

option

Correct your spelling

opinion

show examples

later based on facts. To commence with, offspring play almost more than half the amount of

time

with their

parents

and observe all behaviours which are done by their

parents

Therefore

, it is justifiable to claim that they are role models for their

children

. Apart from that, since birth guardians are aware of all the traits of their

children

they are better too through

much

Fix the agreement mistake

many

show examples

important life lessons.

Children

also

grasp lessons easily because they are very well connected with family bonds.

For instance

, it can be seen that if

parents

are respecting

Wrong verb form

respect

show examples

older people in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

then

offspring can follow the same

characteristic

Fix the agreement mistake

characteristics

show examples

because they grow to see

this

tradition from

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

birth.

Additionally

, nowadays teenagers consider their mother or father friends and they can feel free to share any kind of life situation with them because they are raised like

this

and they have a great child-parent bond.

However

,it is not undeniable truth that in many

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

social media

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

place

Correct article usage

the place

show examples

mentor

Fix the agreement mistake

mentors

show examples

for adolescents.To elaborate , today most pupils live in nuclear-based families among them their

parents

are

Verb problem

spend

show examples

most of the

time

spend

Verb problem

apply

show examples

in the office to fulfil the basic needs of the family and teenagers are left alone at home isolated.

This

situation even gets

worst

Correct word choice

worse

show examples

in metro cities where people want to live introverted lifestyles and

children

hardly find friends .

Hence

children

are attracted to social apps where they can chit-chat with someone and spend

time

with them.It is human nature

when

Correct pronoun usage

that when

show examples

they spend most of their

time

with anything they can feel connected and bonded toward that object.The best example of

this

is, in the USA it is noticed that most school

children

aged between 12-18 are blindly followed social media actors and influencers. To recapture, it is true that adolescents are greatly impacted by paparazzi and they have great control over

children

's minds.

Nevertheless

, these norms can be curbed if some measures are taken by

parents

and society.

Submitted by hemangpatel0710 on Wed Mar 29 2023

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Task Response

To improve task response, ensure to clearly address both views presented in the prompt and provide a balanced discussion. Make sure to give a clear opinion at the end of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use transition words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate to it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that parents have a great in!uence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger infuence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

The best way to solve the world‘s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweighs the advantages?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?