Some people argue that the retirement age should be raised significantly, given that average life expectancy has increased greatly. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #retirement #age #life #expectancy

There are enough discussions about the allowance that people

reseive

Correct your spelling

receive

and one of them is the extension of the

retirement

age

, Some have argued that because many people are living much longer the

age

which

Change preposition

at which

show examples

people retire considerably. From my perspective, I disagree with

proposal

Add an article

the proposal

show examples

This

essay will

demostrate

Correct your spelling

demonstrate

why its proponents are correct. On the one hand,

alhtough

Correct your spelling

although

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

expentancy

Correct your spelling

expectancy

is longer

wworkers

Correct your spelling

workers

are at a certain

age

which makes them less active and unable to adapt to the physical demand of their work, especially

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

creative and craft profession.

For instance

, as

employeea

Correct your spelling

employees

employee

get older, their brains become less active and have more difficulty

aequiring

Correct your spelling

acquiring

requiring

new necessary skills for new projects or competing with younger employees.

In addition

, their eyes deteriorate.

As a result

, they make more mistakes in documents or tasks that require development.

On the other hand

besides

some

drawbacks

Add a comma

,drawbacks

show examples

everyone has

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

dreams about their life so determining a specific

age

also

limiting the liberty of humans.

For example

, many seniors are planning to travel around the world, visit new places and meet new cultures.

Furthermore

, some of them are dreaming about a change

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

carrier or establishing their own business. So, late

retirement

limits human rights and respect.

To conclude

, considering the aforementioned points, it can be inferred that

this

essay argued why the

retirement

age

needs to be chosen by workers and equality workers who can

secrifice

Correct your spelling

sacrifice

their pension for their dreams need to benefit from early

retirement

Submitted by brookland.school.uzb on Wed Mar 29 2023

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Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
economic sustainability
workforce participation
elderly population
pension schemes
inter-generational fairness
mandatory retirement
ageism
job market competition
financial security
age demographics
automation
social welfare
active aging

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Some people argue that the retirement age should be raised significantly, given that average life expectancy has increased greatly. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT STUDYING AT UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE IS THE BEST ROUTE TO A SUCCESSFUL CAREER, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER TO GET A JOB STRAIGHT AFTER SCHOOL . DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.