IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on their samrtphones. why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #samrtphones #case #development
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Nowadays, some
children
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 spent plenty of time using their smartphones. Personally, I believe that lack of
cares
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care
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 by their
parents
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 is the main reason why
this
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 advancement happened.
In addition
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, I considered
this
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 as a negative
development
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 because distracting from learning and impacting health are two primary problems which will happen. With regards to the lacking care by
parents
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, in recent years, most
parents
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 are busy at work.
Additionally
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, they do not have time to accompany their
children
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.
That is
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 the reason why
parents
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 provide smartphones to ensure their
children
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's safety.
As a result
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, these
children
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 are using their mobile phones without
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parents'
Correct pronoun usage
their parents'
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 limits.
For example
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,
a
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apply
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research from the Education Ministry, a large number of
children
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 was given mobile phones by their
parents
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, some of them using them 5 hours per day or even 15 hours without
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parents’
Correct pronoun usage
their parents’
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 awareness. The first and most serious problem of spending hours on phones for
children
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 is health problems. These
children
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 may overuse their eyes without relaxation.
Furthermore
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, they may stay at a certain place for a long period without doing exercise. Eventually, their weight increases and their sight is damaged.
Apart from
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this
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,
this
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development
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also
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 influences
children
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’s education, since they are addicted to smartphones,
such
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 as playing video games, watching films or other entertainment. These activities have them distract from learning and not focus on their school work. In conclusion, lack of care from
parents
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 is the main reason why
this
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development
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 happened,
while
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 I believe
this
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 is a negative
development
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 because their health will be impacted.
Moreover
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, they might fail in studying and learning.
Submitted by anitawu1992 on

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