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Band 2

Does technology play a role in making people more isolated?

#technology #role #people
Our interaction with
technology
 shapes the way we communicate with others in
undeniable
Change the article
an undeniable
show examples
 way. As
technology
 advances,
people
 become more socially isolated and prefer to communicate through online platforms. Almost everyone
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 and have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access to the internet and any social media through their
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
. It's not going
stop
Fix the infinitive
to stop
show examples
 there.
People
 even could manage the whole home
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
 all electronic devices could be controlled remotely.
Therefore
,
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advancement makes
people
 to be in decent social interaction by not actually being in one physically and
prepares
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 be alone mentally.
Additionally
,
addiction
Correct article usage
the addiction
show examples
 to
browse
Change the verb form
browsing
show examples
 online
maked
Correct your spelling
made
show examples
people
 more isolated in the room by not feeling lonely enough to have interactions outside. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media platforms
designated
Add a missing verb
are designated
show examples
 to scroll
unconciously
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
unconscious
 for hours.
Then
subconcious
Correct your spelling
subconscious
 mind has been affected and shaped
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 all that information behind the device.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 we could use any
technology
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-development usefully. Artificial Intelligence, which is ChatGPT, could be very handy for any work to be done, introduced
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 version
last
 week.
To conclude
, even though, Artificial Intelligence and
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advancement could be useful for
further
Add an article
a further
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
It's making a significant change
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the way
people
 communicate socially.
Submitted by haliun9499 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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