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Band 4

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this a case? Do you think it's positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
2. instant
dopamine
 exposure
ancestoral
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ancestral
 trait to get
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of
dopamine
 3. slouch, indigestion, bad eyesight Today, it is become prevalent to see a child
sticked
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stuck
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 to their smartphones
in
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on
show examples
daily
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a daily
show examples
 basis. Even, in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
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 they spend more time with technological devices compared to
the
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apply
show examples
time with
parents
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their parents
show examples
. Why is
this
 considered normal
in
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apply
show examples
nowadays? will
this
 have adverse outcomes or pleasant results? these questions will be analysed in
this
 essay. The paramount reason is to get instant gratification. Indeed,
current
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the current
show examples
 generation is sucked down
to
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into
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 the rabbit holes of social media, because it generated a plethora of
dopamine
, a chemical compound which is known as
hormone
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the hormone
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 of pleasure. In past,
this
dopamine
 circuit assisted our ancestors to obtain food by hunting and
survive
Wrong verb form
surviving
show examples
.
By
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As
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the
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apply
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time goes, hunting was superseded by other activities farming.
However
, our "satisfaction" schemes
still
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are still
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 in our genes,
hence
, in order to require gratification,
instead
 of "chasing an animal", we scroll down to social media
in
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on
show examples
 our smartphones.
Moreover
, after scientists
revield
Correct your spelling
revealed
reviled
this
 mechanism, all social media companies are using it to their own advantage ever since. That's why it's so convenient to utilize these apps and get addicted to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. The vital consequence of these changes in daily habits is health concerns. Even though, these innovations provide a wide range of data, scientists all over the world are hitting a siren regarding
downstream
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the downstream
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 effects of advanced technologies. In fact, the vast majority of
youngster
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youngsters
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 are prone to
deseases
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diseases
such
 as
pandemia
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pandemics
.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, most of them suffer from
slouch
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a slouch
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, indigestion and
at
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apply
show examples
some worst cases
to
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apply
show examples
mentall
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mental
 illness.
For example
,
researches
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researchers
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 discovered that in the
last
 decades, there have been a drastic decline in
overall
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the overall
show examples
 physical performance of children
comparitavely
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comparatively
 to
prior
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the prior
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 generation.
Consequently
, smartphones are
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 enhancement for
teen
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teens
show examples
. In summary,
drawback
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the drawback
show examples
 revealed by
above
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the above
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 discussion depicts that positive developments are
outweighted
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outweighed
 by negative ones in relation to
Add an article
the child
a child
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child
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children
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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