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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two pie charts show the aspects of Bowen
Island
Use synonyms
 that tourists enjoy the most and the least. Bowen
Island
Use synonyms
 has many features that attract tourists but the most popular of these are the scenery and the people, with more than
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of the visitors to the
island
Use synonyms
 listing these as the greatest advantages. The standard of accommodation on the
island
Use synonyms
 appears to be more than adequate, with 11% of respondents listing
this
Linking Words
 as an advantage. 12% of visitors cite the culture of the
island
Use synonyms
 as a major attraction.
However
Linking Words
, the
island
Use synonyms
 seems far from being a perfect tourist destination. When it comes to the negative aspects of the
island
Use synonyms
, the high cost of living, poor weather and the quality or lack of entertainment are seen as the worst of these. Together, these three categories make up 90% of the total disadvantages. In spite of the high costs on the
island
Use synonyms
, 10% of the visitors complain of poor food quality.
Overall
Linking Words
, it seems that most people like Bowen
Island
Use synonyms
 because of the scenery and people.
However
Linking Words
, it is possible that the unspoilt nature of the
island
Use synonyms
 means there is little in the way of entertainment and
this
Linking Words
, combined with the high cost of living, makes it unlikely to appeal to everyone.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • According to the survey
  • Visitors reported
  • The pie charts show
  • The most common advantages/disadvantages
  • A significant proportion
  • A small percentage
  • In contrast
  • Notably
  • The largest segment
  • Similarly
  • On the other hand
  • A major advantage/disadvantage
  • To highlight
  • Overall effect
  • Impact the experience
  • In summary
  • Illustrates
  • Reflects
  • Highlights
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