IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it.

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Globally, wrongdoing has been identified as a major issue with most
people
Use synonyms
 trusting that nothing can be done to stop evil from happening.
This
Linking Words
 has mainly been caused by high rates of unemployment and the
use
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 of illegal substances and
alcohol
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.
However
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,the listed problems can be solved by the creation of more job opportunities
as well as
Linking Words
 the empowerment of
people
Use synonyms
 on the harmful
effects
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 of using
drugs
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. Criminal activities are on the rise today in the globe.The high number of unemployed
people
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as well as
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 the misuse of
drugs
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 and
alcohol
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 has greatly contributed to the rise of offences.
This
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 is because
people
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 are unable to provide themselves with the basic needs required to survive.
Hence
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,most engage in wrongdoings
for example
Linking Words
 stealing.
on the other hand
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, the
use
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 of illegal
drugs
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 promotes crimes as
people
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 are not able to make informed choices
Therefore
Linking Words
 leading them to commit evils.
For instance
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, the
use
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 of bhang leads to poor judgement. Despite many individuals saying nothing can be done to stop criminal activities, the creation of job opportunities
as well as
Linking Words
 empowerment of
people
Use synonyms
 on the effect of
drugs
Use synonyms
 can prevent
people
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 from engaging in committing wrong activities.Jobs will enable
people
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 to provide themselves
as well as
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 their families with their basic needs and educating the community on the negative
effects
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 of using
drugs
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 or
alcohol
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 will enable them to make informed choices.
For example
Linking Words
,introducing lessons on the
effects
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 of
alcohol
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 or substance
use
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 in schools. In summary,an increase in criminal cases worldwide
due to
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 unemployment or the
use
Use synonyms
 of harmful substances,the issue can be solved by the creation of jobs by the government for⁸ the citizens
as well as
Linking Words
 educating the community on the harmful
effects
Use synonyms
 of drug
use
Use synonyms
.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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