IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays, a lot of people use credit cards for online shopping. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards
The online
Correct article usage
Online
show examples
 shopping is more famous and popular over the world ,
also
 that development is
choosing
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
. These days, many
people
 utilise
credit
cards
 for
new generation
Add a hyphen
new-generation
show examples
 shopping.
This
 development has a number of benefits,
Correct word choice
but
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there are
also
, some drawbacks as well, as
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
Correct your spelling
now
noww
Correct your spelling
now
 be discussed Turning possible disadvantages are
credit
cards
 because these
are create
Change the verb form
create
show examples
a good condition for robbery.
Thus
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of hackers attack
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the bank account
however
, plenty of moments be unsuccessful.
Although
,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 that event is lucky for hackers.
For example
, every day many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
agencies publish news about cybercrime and give some
precaution
Fix the agreement mistake
precautions
show examples
 for
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
show examples
 drawbacks are
money
 has been virtual
money
 and
this
 situation impact to
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 brain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 know
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 virtual
money
 is unreal that doing annoy the most of
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
.
For instance
, currently time the banks
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 customers'
money
 ,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
 gain a lot of income and paid a little portion to the customers. That unbelievable action is
considired
Correct your spelling
considered
 by humans.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 first advantage is
credit
cards
 give cashback at some shopping,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 some
people
 work in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 company and earn
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 monthly, foremost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
credits
Change the noun form
credit
show examples
cards
 give
advantage
Add an article
the advantage
an advantage
show examples
that
is spend
Change the verb form
is spent
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
, next
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the period is paid back by humans. A second advantage is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
credit
cards
 provide income and
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 so do not need cash
also
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is decline
Change the verb form
declines
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
theft for the reason the
cards
 have
special
Add an article
a special
the special
show examples
password
Fix the agreement mistake
passwords
show examples
. There are some
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new superiority
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
credit
cards
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 give the chance paid household expense because that situation be more
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 for
worker
Add an article
the worker
a worker
show examples
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 companies provide reports annually, so reports are shown many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 using
cards
 and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 cash
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
show examples
 every day. In conclusion, the essay
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more advantages in that process, the
cards
 help to
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 shopping
other
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
 expenses. I hope
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 next decade create new packet and discount by
bank
Add an article
the bank
show examples
 .
Submitted by vasif.askerlii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: