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Writing Samples
Band 6

Topic: In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#topic #countries #people #areas
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In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, citizens especially want to find some
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and change
are
Correct word choice
and are
show examples
 making the move from their rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 to the big
cities
Use synonyms
 with a desire for a career, a learning opportunity, or a desire to change lives. From my point of view , there are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
 migrate to
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and the problems associated with it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, young
people
Use synonyms
 leaving is that the business and career
opportunities
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 offered in
cities
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 appealing.
For example
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in Vietnam , many multinational companies
such
Linking Words
 as LG,
Samsung
Correct word choice
and Samsung
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 set up factories in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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,
provide
Correct word choice
and provide
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high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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 management job
opportunities
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 which attract a lot of workers.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can earn
high
Add an article
a high
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 to make and meet.
In addition
Linking Words
, big
cities
Use synonyms
 have more educational
opportunities
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, with better resources and advanced technology.
Besides
Linking Words
 studying in class, students need to search for learning materials from large
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 to
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
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the
Change the word
their
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 learning needs of students.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 with a series of commercial
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, bookstores, used bookstores,
many
Correct word choice
and many
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 fun activities, entertainment, shopping... taking place regularly will help students relax after a
nerve racking
Add a hyphen
nerve-racking
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 day.
However
Linking Words
, there can be disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
Linking Words
 moves.
Firstly
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, traffic congestion and industrial manufacturing are prominent features of the urban landscape, which take their toll on the natural environment and those who depend on it.
For instance
Linking Words
, air pollution from both cars and factory emissions
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 the health of countless urban residents.
Socondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, crime rates are significantly higher in densely populated urban regions than in rural areas. Because urbanization entails migration or immigration of
people
Use synonyms
 from rural areas to
cities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to consequences
such
Linking Words
 as an increase in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 and the rate of unemployment. In conclusion, with a better economy,
cities
Use synonyms
 provide their residents with better welfare. I think the government should
also
Linking Words
 take measures to solve traffic problems
as well as
Linking Words
 crime rates so that
people
Use synonyms
 have a better life.
Submitted by phuongthao.3822 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • metropolis
  • infrastructure
  • amenities
  • rural exodus
  • standard of living
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • job prospects
  • overpopulation
  • housing crisis
  • public transport
  • sanitation issues
  • agricultural decline
  • workforce
  • traditional values
  • cultural diversity
  • environmental impact
  • pollution
  • green spaces
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