Topic: In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

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In
this
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day and age, citizens especially want to find some
opportunities
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and change
are
Correct word choice
and are

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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making the move from their rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to the big
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with a desire for a career, a learning opportunity, or a desire to change lives. From my point of view , there are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons

The singular countable noun reason follows the quantifier several, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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why
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

migrate to
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban

The noun phrase urban area seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and the problems associated with it.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

leaving is that the business and career
opportunities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

offered in
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject the business and career opportunities offered in cities. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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appealing.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
it is clear that
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in Vietnam , many multinational companies
such
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as LG,
Samsung
Correct word choice
and Samsung

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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set up factories in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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,
provide
Correct word choice
and provide

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality

It appears that high quality is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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management job
opportunities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which attract a lot of workers.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they can earn
high
Add an article
a high

The noun phrase high salary seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries

It seems that salary may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to make and meet.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, big
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have more educational
opportunities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, with better resources and advanced technology.
Besides
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

studying in class, students need to search for learning materials from large
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries

It seems that library may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb meeting. Consider changing it.

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the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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learning needs of students.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the city
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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with a series of commercial
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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, bookstores, used bookstores,
many
Correct word choice
and many

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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fun activities, entertainment, shopping... taking place regularly will help students relax after a
nerve racking
Add a hyphen
nerve-racking

It seems that nerve racking is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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day.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there can be disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

moves.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, traffic congestion and industrial manufacturing are prominent features of the urban landscape, which take their toll on the natural environment and those who depend on it.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, air pollution from both cars and factory emissions
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects

It seems that the verb affect does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the health of countless urban residents.
Socondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly

If you don’t want Socondly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, crime rates are significantly higher in densely populated urban regions than in rural areas. Because urbanization entails migration or immigration of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from rural areas to
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can lead to consequences
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as an increase in the number of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the rate of unemployment. In conclusion, with a better economy,
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provide their residents with better welfare. I think the government should
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

take measures to solve traffic problems
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

crime rates so that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have a better life.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • metropolis
  • infrastructure
  • amenities
  • rural exodus
  • standard of living
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • job prospects
  • overpopulation
  • housing crisis
  • public transport
  • sanitation issues
  • agricultural decline
  • workforce
  • traditional values
  • cultural diversity
  • environmental impact
  • pollution
  • green spaces
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