IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Task 1 Academic: The graph below shows the average consumption of cheese per person in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland between 1980 and 2020.

Task 1 Academic: The graph below shows the average consumption of cheese per person in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland between 1980 and 2020.
#consumption #cheese #person #england #scotland #wales #ireland
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph demonstrates the
cheese
Use synonyms
 consumed by people living in the four regions per annum from 1980 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
cheese
Use synonyms
 consumption among people living in England and Scotland declined,
while
Linking Words
 the number of people in Wales and Northern Ireland intaking
cheese
Use synonyms
 rose gradually over the reporting period.
Although
Linking Words
 England and Scotland had the highest intake of
cheese
Use synonyms
 before 1990,
both
Use synonyms
 peaking at around 110kg, they
both
Use synonyms
 underwent a constant fall after 1990.
In particular
Linking Words
, the number of Scottish eating
cheese
Use synonyms
 dropped dramatically to 70kg in 2000. Since
then
Linking Words
, the figure had experienced a continuous decrease, ending at just above 50kg in 2020, becoming the second
last
Linking Words
 region eating
cheese
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 Wales and Northern Ireland were reported to have the lowest
cheese
Use synonyms
 consumption before 1990, accounting for 60kg and 25kg, respectively, they
both
Use synonyms
 witnessed an upward trajectory. In 2010,
both
Use synonyms
 regions experienced the greatest
cheese
Use synonyms
 consumption of around 75kg and 55kg. From 2010 onwards, the
cheese
Use synonyms
 intake flattened out for
both
Use synonyms
 cities.
Submitted by joewingpun1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cheese, both, kg with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: