IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Being a celebrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #–such #film #sports #personality-
Well-known
people
such
 as film stars and sports players always draw attention around the world, and many
people
 admire their luxurious
life
.
However
, there is a long-standing debate about whether or not the advantages
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being famous overweigh the disadvantages.
Although
 I understand there are downsides, I believe well-known positions are valuable. On the one hand, status in society can be taken advantage of in a variety of situations. PIV services or first class on flights are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
examples. Ordinary
people
 have no access to these special benefits because of a lack of fame or connection.
For example
, Japanese traditional entertainment places, where only rich
people
 are allowed to enter, still exist and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
introduction from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
former clients is required
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new visitors.
The reputation
Correct article usage
Reputation
show examples
 and money could lead to more opportunities to build new connections and widen individual perspectives.
On the other hand
, the media always use celebrities for their coverage
due to
 the fact that their gossip increases sales significantly.
Consequently
, paparazzi always try to reveal secrets and the invasion of privacy has become a serious problem.
For example
, Megan, who was married to Prince Henry, was chased by the media
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
show examples
 and she felt threatened and suffered from depression. Her
life
 was completely changed by becoming famous. Revolution to sacrifice some personal privacy to a certain extent may be inevitable.
To conclude
, even though being
famed
Replace the word
famous
show examples
 has some downsides, which are related to privacy and mental conditions, in my opinion, glamorous
life
 can expand the possibilities of unextraordinary experiences in
life
.
Submitted by nanamach87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: