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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think "vertical "city is the best, where people live and work in tall buildings. Others think "horizontal" city is better, where there are few tall buildings. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think "vertical "city is the best, where people live and work in tall buildings. Others think "horizontal" city is better, where there are few tall buildings. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
Use synonyms
 consider  the "vertical “
cities
Use synonyms
 to accommodate more
people
Use synonyms
 in the land-limited areas,
while
Linking Words
 others hold a reverse viewpoint that  the "horizontal"
cities
Use synonyms
 are more
environmental
Replace the word
environmentally
show examples
 friendly. In my opinion, I strongly believe that living in the "horizontal"
cities
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial because not only would
not
Correct pronoun usage
it not
show examples
 create too much pollution
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 dwellers can
access
Use synonyms
 nature
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
.

 Admittedly, there are some basic benefits for us living in vertical
cities
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. The main advantage of
this
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 type of city is that a great number of
people
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 can be accommodated in a small area. Most architectures in the metropolis are tall, which means that they have more ability to accommodate more
people
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 within a limited supply of land.
Such
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 as New York, it is necessary for them to build a great number of skyscrapers because of the high population.
Moreover
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, it is easier for residents of big
cities
Use synonyms
 to
access
Use synonyms
 various kinds of facilities because of different kinds of needs.
For instance
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, the metro, massive hospitals and department stores are more common in urban areas.
 

However
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, despite the advantages above, I believe the "horizontal"
cities
Use synonyms
 are more suitable for humans. The vital reason for
this
Linking Words
 belief is that there would not
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 a considerable amount of pollution created owing to the
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 population density. With less amount of contaminants, the environment can deal with them
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, most sparsely populated places can maintain ecosystems and coexist with the environment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the local residents can
access
Use synonyms
 nature because most of the
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 kind of place
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 natural;
hence
Linking Words
, they have more opportunities to get close to the natural places and refresh themselves.

 In conclusion, I believe there are both pros and cons to these areas. On balance, considering the environmental problems and the opportunities to
access
Use synonyms
 nature, I have a firm belief that living in a "horizontal" city is more beneficial
to not only
Correct word order
not only to
show examples
 health but
also
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 environment.

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coherence
Use more clear link words to show how ideas go from one point to the next.
content
Give more full and clear ideas for each point with one strong example.
grammar
Check small grammar errors and choose simple, correct word use.
structure
Keep a clear view in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
strength
The writer has a clear view and says it in the start.
strength
There is a basic plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
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