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Band 4.5

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

#people #time #history
People
 tend to
belive
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believe
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 that nowadays is the most precious time frame in
a
Remove the article
apply
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human history. I completely agree with
this
 thesis
while
also
 considering
nineteenth
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the nineteenth
show examples
centrury
Correct your spelling
century
 as another fascinating period to live in.
Twenty-first
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The twenty-first
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 century should be called “the best” by future
historics
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historians
 since in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decades so many new things were developed that have made a huge influence on our daily life. New technological outbreaks appear on the yearly basis and completely change our daily
rouitines
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routines
routine
.
For example
,
innovated
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innovative
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 ovens and
automatical
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automatic
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 vacuum cleaners assist millions of
people
 to save additional time and dedicate
this
 time
for
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to
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 being with their family.
Moreover
, a significant improvement
of
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in
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financial
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the financial
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 industry has happened
last
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
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. Because of massive bank development,
people
 have started to feel more protected. If fifty years ago payments can only be made by cash, nowadays credit cards are accepted almost everywhere in the world.
However
, there was another period of changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history in the nineteenth century, which can
also
 be considered
as
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apply
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attractive. New inventions caused
industrial
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the industrial
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 revolution which led to urbanisation with
huge
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the huge
a huge
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 widening of cities. When
people
 started to live together, new types of small social groups start to become more popular.
According to
 some lecturers, it was the reason behind
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 beginning of political freedom in some countries and I find it very
insteresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
.
While
 some would prefer to be born in the past, I fully agree with the superiority of our times over the other
history
Replace the word
historical
show examples
 periods. The only other interesting period to live
was
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in was
show examples
nineteenth
Change the article
the nineteenth
show examples
centrury
Correct your spelling
century
.
Submitted by korteseg on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented
  • prosperity
  • technological advancements
  • global connectivity
  • longevity
  • opportunities
  • self-expression
  • renaissance
  • exploration
  • industrial revolution
  • roaring twenties
  • unparalleled
  • groundbreaking
  • transformative
  • revolutionary
  • epoch-making
  • flourished
  • transcended
  • innovations
  • distinguished
  • renaissance artists
  • explorers
  • innovative entrepreneurs
  • exhilarating
  • era
  • unforgettable
  • boom
  • vibrant
  • exuberant
  • transformed
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