IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below show the number of hours spent on social media per day from 2010 to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The graph below show the number of hours spent on social media per day from 2010 to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
#show #hours #media #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar graph reveals percentages of
people
Use synonyms
 that
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 multiple social
media
Use synonyms
 sites in 2014 and 2015. X-axis represents percentages of
people
Use synonyms
 who used social
media
Use synonyms
, Y-axis demonstrates different numbers of
websites
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 used only 1 website
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 years. And five
websites
Use synonyms
 used
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
.
Tendency
Correct article usage
The tendency
show examples
 to multiple website usage was increased in 2015. It is true that
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who didn't use network sites slightly decreased by %1,
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 %22 to %21.
People
Use synonyms
 who spent their time
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
a
Change preposition
on a
show examples
website fell from %36
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
%
28
Change preposition
to 28
show examples
 in 2014 and 2016 respectively. In 2014, %23 of society used only 2
websites
Use synonyms
, and a year later rose by only %1. Three and four
Use synonyms
websites
Change noun form
websites'
website's
show examples
 users ratio increased over time and reached %16 and %8 by order. Those who succeed to use five
socail
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 sites doubled in a year and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
%4. It is obvious that
people
Use synonyms
 improved their social
media
Use synonyms
 usage over time and they were
abled
Replace the word
able
show examples
 to use more
websites
Use synonyms
 in a year.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, media, websites with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: