The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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the diagram describes the process of sugary production from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane. We have 7 steps that , we face both simple and complicated work
Firstly
Linking Words
carbohydrate cane growing up for 12 to 18 months.,
Linking Words
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
they are harvested by farmers or developing machines. After ,that they are crushed and
also
Linking Words
converted to juice.
The next step is
Linking Words
purifying juice. in
this
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,stepThe substance from which
sugar
Use synonyms
is produced is purified by a limestone filter and they come out of it by drop as well.
then
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the
sugar
Use synonyms
rod is evaporated by heat and the juice becomes syrup.in the next ,step
sugar
Use synonyms
pole is centrifuged and carbohydrate crystals are separated from the syrup.,
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finally
Add a comma
,finally
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they are dried and cooled and
sugar
Use synonyms
is produced. in ,conclusion
sugar
Use synonyms
production from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane has 7 steps and the longest stride being the first. in the second ,stride we can use only combine or other complicated machines to speed up the work. In
this
Linking Words
,process different instruments are used to make a high-quality product.
Submitted by aamin.1245 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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