The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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the diagram describes the process of sugary production from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane. We have 7 steps that , we face both simple and complicated work

Firstly

Linking Words

carbohydrate cane growing up for 12 to 18 months.,

Linking Words

secondly

Add a comma

,secondly

show examples

they are harvested by farmers or developing machines. After ,that they are crushed and

also

Linking Words

converted to juice.

The next step is

Linking Words

purifying juice. in

this

Linking Words

,stepThe substance from which

sugar

Use synonyms

is produced is purified by a limestone filter and they come out of it by drop as well.

then

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the

sugar

Use synonyms

rod is evaporated by heat and the juice becomes syrup.in the next ,step

sugar

Use synonyms

pole is centrifuged and carbohydrate crystals are separated from the syrup.,

Linking Words

finally

Add a comma

,finally

show examples

they are dried and cooled and

sugar

Use synonyms

is produced. in ,conclusion

sugar

Use synonyms

production from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane has 7 steps and the longest stride being the first. in the second ,stride we can use only combine or other complicated machines to speed up the work. In

this

Linking Words

,process different instruments are used to make a high-quality product.

Submitted by aamin.1245 on Fri Mar 31 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

167 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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