New technologies have brought many changes to children's leisure activities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or are there other things?

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Nowadays we are living in the computer age and we cannot ignore

technology

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Due to

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technological advancements,

children

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's spare activities have changed and improved. I believe that the pros of modern

technology

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overweigh the cons and

this

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essay will discuss some of them. These days young generation devotes most of their spare

time

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to playing online games and interacting with other people who are from other countries, which can lead to enhancing their communication skills and interaction skills.

In addition

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to that, cutting-edge

technology

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such

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as smartphones allows youngsters to connect with the world.

Therefore

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, they can see others’ views and plans that can apply them to their future.

For example

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, in

Jordan

Add a comma

,Jordan

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the majority of the young generation relies on others’ achievements which they can observe by using social media platforms.

On the other hand

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, there are some drawbacks that come from using

technology

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children

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who are using electronic devices in their spare

time

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for

a long periods

Correct the article-noun agreement

long periods

a long period

show examples

can lead to obesity and poor eyesight. The majority of electronic devices do not have

a protective screens

Correct the article-noun agreement

a protective screen

protective screens

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which can cause eye problems.

Furthermore

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children

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spend most of their leisure

time

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on modern

technology

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and they spend less

time

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with their parents.

As a result

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, family bonds will be broken and

this

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can impact negatively their lives. In conclusion, state-of-the-art

technology

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has altered the way that

children

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spend their spare

time

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and they have benefits and drawbacks. But the advantages overweigh the disadvantages.

ahmadalshraa1515Fri Mar 31 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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New technologies have brought many changes to children's leisure activities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or are there other things?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

For centuries, importan parts of education have remained such reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to added to the list. to what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, many people spend more and more time going to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others believe that it has some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The illustration below shows the process of tying a bow tie. Write a report explaining to a university lecturer how to tie his bow tie.

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?