IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men. There is a logic that they should share the housework equally with men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #jobs #men #logic #housework
Historically, women were in charge of the housework
while
 men worked to provide financial resources to the family.
However
, thanks to emancipation females are working as their partners.
For
this
 reason, many people state that they should share the housecare tasks. In
this
 essay, I'm going to give my opinion about the topic and explain why I strongly agree with
this
 new way of organizing family life. As written in the introduction, women are getting full-time occupations more frequently than in the past.
As a consequence
, the old-fashion familiar equilibrium is no longer valid. In fact, men are now required to cook or wash the dishes. These used to be tasks for wives. Luckily, our society is overcoming that stereotypical view of a lady as a maid. Sharing equally the housework is great because it helps the female to have some time to focus on her career. Both men and women should have the possibility of an occupation. Earning a wage is at the base of financial independence and,
thus
, it may be fundamental for achieving personal freedom. In my opinion, in order to reach equality between the two sex it may be necessary to destroy the old roles that communities created through the centuries.
Therefore
, the change must start in the family structure to be
then
 spread to the whole society.
Submitted by cast_pie01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: