IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that music lessons aren’t important and that children should pay more attention to science. Do you agree or disagree?

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Is
music
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 really important? Surely, it is but many people would argue that children should focus on science and so the
time
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 spent on
music
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lessons
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 is wasted. In
this
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 essay, I am going to analyse the topic and share my opinion about it. Schools all around the world dedicate some
time
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 to
Add an article
the
show examples
music
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. It is likely to find
this
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 subject in educational programs, especially for children.
As a consequence
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, some of the hours that could be spent studying maths and other scientific subjects are dedicated to
this
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 art.
Therefore
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, they are often complaining about the inclusion of
music
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 in the weekly schedule of their kids' school. From their point of view, instrument
lessons
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 should be a hobby to fill their free
time
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. What are the advantages of including
music
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lessons
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 in school? The first thing we may consider is that not all students have an attitude towards science.
Thus
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, creative subjects can be helpful to them. In other terms, not everyone will become a doctor or a nurse and so it is good to leave them some
time
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 to develop other types of skills.
Moreover
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, it could be important to study
music
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 in order to have a better understanding of the culture of our nation and other ones. The reason for
this
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 is the importance of musical works throughout history.
Additionally
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, students might need some
time
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 to make up their minds after tiring courses to improve their productivity. In conclusion, I disagree with those who state that it is a waste of
time
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.
Although
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 not as important as other studies,
music
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lessons
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 can be I way to relax and to prove creativity.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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