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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development
In the 21st century, the majority of individuals prefer to interact with each other virtually rather than face to face. In my opinion, both approaches have positive and negative aspects.
Firstly
, the advantage of
this
 idea, if humans can not say what is inside of them, they can not show their feelings, we will record and show it through social networks.
Also
, in 2019 scientists in Europe did experiments on some people and couples. The goal of
this
 experiment was to learn how someone may tell calm from within them and
this
 proceeding demonstrated,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 couples told each other
easier in
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
 the socialize online than
one-to-one
Correct your spelling
one-on-one
show examples
. Another useful way is we forget our
real-life’s
Change noun form
real-life
show examples
 life problems, and we are able to feel without hassle and relief.
In addition
, the community can make friends on social networks.
That is
 why, people want to communicate via social media.
Secondly
, the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
 of
this
 way, nations are not able to know everything about their interlocutor’s characters. Some people hide their negative sides.
Such
 useless side as, if there is a long distance between parents and their son or daughter, they will hide or not tell each other problems. Another negative side, they are keen on socialising online more than in normal communities. They may prefer virtual friends more than their parents and relatives. which is why they may miss links from real life. In conclusion, we are not able to bring to a stop talking and socialising online and in real life. Both have benefits and positive sides.
However
 everything has a limit, only we should know about
this
 normal
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

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task response
Your essay shows some relevant ideas but lacks clarity in expressing them. Make sure to organize your thoughts and provide specific examples that clearly relate to your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic introduction and conclusion, but it needs more development and connection between the ideas. Work on structuring your essay in a way that leads the reader through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • online interactions
  • virtual communication
  • global community
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital divide
  • cyberspace
  • virtual presence
  • social networking
  • mental wellbeing
  • digital literacy
  • safe spaces
  • marginalized groups
  • face-to-face communication
  • socialisation
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