Nowadays, more and more younger people need to compete with older people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs

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As the

aging

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ageing

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of society has rapidly processed, many people try to postpone their post-retirement life.

This

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phenomenon has led to competitive

job

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hunting between youths and

seniors

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. There are some negative impacts on society

such

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unemployment

Correct article usage

the unemployment

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rate and dependence of children on

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

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. I will cover some solutions in

this

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essay as well. In terms of problems,

seniors

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usually have more knowledge and experiences which are often used as their

advantages

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advantage

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and youths might have difficulty finding a

job

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, which leads to an increase in

unemployment

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the unemployment

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rate in society.

For example

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, civil servants are considered

Correct word choice

apply

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one of the most stable jobs in Japan and older generations have a tendency to extend their retirement age.

Therefore

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, educated youngsters, who have

potential

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the potential

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to have successful careers if they are hired, need to give up their first choice and find

compromise

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a compromise

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Moreover

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, if graduates can not seize a

job

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opportunity, they feel depressed and lose their confidence. They might end up having no choice but relying on financial support from their parents. To solve these issues, one effective solution will be to offer sufficient social benefits to

seniors

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which promotes early

retirements

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retirement

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. One alternative solution may be to hire new young people constantly and put

seniors

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into tutor positions.

While

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older people keep their standard of living, youngsters can learn knowledge and experience from

superiors

Correct pronoun usage

their superiors

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However

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this

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costs more money and

this

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strategy depends on companies’ budgets.

To conclude

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job

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competitions

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competition

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between

younger

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the younger

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generation and

older

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the older

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generation have been more and more severe

due to

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the changed retirement age and

this

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circumstance has brought social issues and

early

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the early

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retirement system should be enforced in many companies.

Submitted by nanamach87 on Sat Apr 01 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal fulfillment
Unfulfilling job
Mental health
Physical health
Financial stability
Job security
Societal norms
Career choices
Pursuing passion
Practicality
Personal growth
Skill development
Self-esteem
Social status
Work-life balance

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Nowadays, more and more younger people need to compete with older people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What would you suggest as a solution?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can case serious social problems, as well as practical problems. to what extent do you agree or disagree with thia statement?

Cyber insecurity is a rising problem in many countries. What problems does a lack of cyber security cause to Internet users? What solutions can you suggest to solve it?