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Band 7.5

Some people think that children should be taken in control by their parents while others argue that they need to learn to be independent. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

#people #children #control #parents
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In society's recent times, many
parents
 think that their heirs should be taken care of by them, and on the other side, someone would like their kids to live independently in their adolescent lives. In my point of view, I will discuss both ideas and provide my statement below. On the one hand, children, who are heavily affected by the dramatic changes in society now, could be easy victims of violence.
Additionally
, teenagers often have a high chance of accessing drugs, wine, and cigarettes, which will lead them into bad habits
such
 as fighting, stealing, and so on. Take me
for example
, when I was a student at a secondary school, without supervision from my
parents
, I often didn't go to school and gathered with my bad friends to steal stocks at the supermarket.
On the other hand
, encouraging boys and girls to be independent, which is a modern way for their
parents
 to raise them, stimulates them to be more active in learning.
Besides
, the kids access the internet not only more quickly than their
parents
 but
also
 more effectively than other old people.
For example
, I see my 10-year-old cousin chatting with the Open AI to complete all of his homework at home in only 2 hours,
whereas
 in my experience, I need at least 4 hours to complete
this
 homework because the OpenAI suggests a better method to finish tonnes of homework easily.
Therefore
, for me, I suggest that mature people inform scions how to be themselves as soon as possible. To be honest, when children are inspired by what is good for them, they can make everything more efficient. In my conclusion,
although
 the old sometimes look at their kids day by day, I offer that every family should let the children be less dependent in our lives.
Submitted by joseph.bachle on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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