Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #work #determination #success #money #appearance

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A number of individuals assume that being industrious and determined is the key factor to being successful, but others think that financial resources and beauty are more significant. In

this

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essay, I will express not only both views but

also

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my own idea about

this

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issue. Trying hard and having a will are crucial elements to achieving our goals. In

this

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cutting-edge era, in order to be the best company manager which makes a profit or be the most important employee we should gain detailed knowledge.

Therefore

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, we should work hard and study well.

For example

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, the Apple Company was run by an expert engineer who was a scholar and,

also

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hard working.

Hence

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, his association is the most prosperous group which makes smartphones and computers.

On the other hand

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, others find success in possessing enough amount of money and being pretty. For the purpose of starting a new business and running it

as well as

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preventing it from going bankrupt, a manager should invest a good deal of finance.

In addition

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, to fill some vacancies, applicants must have an acceptable appearance, because several employees’ criterion for hiring is being beautiful.

Accordingly

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, the chance of good-looking people is more than normal ones.

For instance

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, some doctors or businessmen prefer that their secretors and receptionists be gorgeous. In conclusion, notions around prosperity are very different. Some people believe that attempt leads to a favourite result,

while

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others emphasize wealth and appearance. I think we can be more successful if we plan for our aims and take steps to achieve them. It is essential to hold on to our goals by making an effort.

Submitted by s.qanbarzadeh2020 on Sat Apr 01 2023

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on education than that of sports and recreation. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoor games that require physical activities instead of playing computer games at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.