Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities such as hiking and climbing in nature. Why is this? And how can we encourage them to go out?
It is true that young
people
are unlikely to spend Use synonyms
time
on outdoor Use synonyms
activities
. There could be several reasons why Use synonyms
this
is the case. Linking Words
This
essay will explain why young Linking Words
people
require staying at home more than Use synonyms
activities
like hiking and discuss some solutions to encourage them
There are two main reasons why young communities do not like to exercise. Use synonyms
To begin
with, they do not have adequate Linking Words
time
for Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
activities
. Use synonyms
For instance
, many businesses force their employees to work on weekends and even holidays. Linking Words
Therefore
, they do not have Linking Words
time
for other Use synonyms
activities
. Another reason is that young Use synonyms
people
are too lazy for outdoor Use synonyms
activities
. Technology is becoming more and more developed Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
people
rely too much on it. They do not want to do things by themselves and even exercise
Fortunately, several measures could be taken to alleviate Use synonyms
this
issue. The first solution is that the government can organise some competitions for young Linking Words
people
to participate in. They used to not have any energy for these exercises. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, having Linking Words
people
to compare with may contribute to their motivation. The second measure is that the government should give a policy for companies. Use synonyms
For example
, the authorities can forbid companies to coerce employees to work overtime. Linking Words
Moreover
, they can Linking Words
also
have some punishments for violating regulations
In conclusion, young Linking Words
people
do not want to do outdoor Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
due to
their lack of Linking Words
time
and their ability. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
activities
including hiking and climbing have a significant number of benefits for them. Use synonyms
Consequently
, the authorities should ban companies from forcing Linking Words
people
to work too much and set up some competition for themUse synonyms
Submitted by chi on
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Grammar & Style
To further enhance your essays, consider varying your sentence structures more to showcase a wide range of grammatical constructions. This will not only make your writing more engaging but also demonstrate your linguistic proficiency.
Vocabulary
Introducing more sophisticated vocabulary, particularly related to the topic of outdoor activities and societal trends, can further enrich your essay. Words and phrases that deepen the analysis of why young people may prefer indoor activities could add depth to your argument.
Argumentation
While your essay is well-structured, incorporating a brief counter-argument or discussion of opposing viewpoints could provide a more balanced perspective. Acknowledging and refuting these viewpoints can strengthen your position.
Content
Your essay effectively outlines the reasons why young people may prefer to stay indoors and offers tangible solutions to encourage outdoor activities, showcasing a strong task achievement.
Structure
The logical flow and clarity of your essay are commendable. Your use of paragraphs to separate ideas clearly and your smooth transitions contribute greatly to the essay's coherence and cohesion.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay, highlighting your ability to present and summarise your main points effectively.