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Band 5.5

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplaces #communication #face #development
The development of technology has changed the way
people
 communicate in the workplace, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
communication
is now be
Change the verb form
is now
show examples
 more common than the traditional way. In my opinion,
this
 transformation brings more advantages than drawbacks. Regarding disadvantages, switching to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 could
weakens
Wrong verb form
weaken
show examples
 the bond between colleagues. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical
interacts
Replace the word
interactions
show examples
 are declined,
people
 will have less time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
connect
Change the verb form
connecting
show examples
 with others than before.
For instance
, some activities like coffee during break times will no longer exist.
Consequently
, weaker links will have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative effect on the teamwork ability of
people
, as they do not understand others clearly.
On the other hand
, there are numerous benefits of online
communication
 compared to
face-to-face
Add an article
a face-to-face
the face-to-face
show examples
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
.
Firstly
, the work will be more
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
show examples
. As the exchange for work can be done
in
Change preposition
apply
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anywhere at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology,
the
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apply
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business will be more convenient.
For instance
, when the business has troubles,
people
 can host an online meeting immediately
instead
 of having only real-world
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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office hours.
Moreover
, it is easier for officers to access the information. In detail,
people
 can store and use the data they need as a digital file
instead
 a bunch of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
, which will
also
 help to reduce the company’s expenditure.
Thus
,
although
 there is a
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
, online
communication
 brings more advantages to the business. In conclusion, I believed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
communication
 has more benefits to the workplace as it makes the work more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the worker. Even
then
,
people
 should still have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time to bond and understand each other more in order to increase the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 teamwork.
Submitted by giafong.2611 on

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