IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that environmental problems are to be solved by individuals whereas others believe government can support the people to solve the problem ?

#people #individuals #government #support
Humans are destroying the
environment
 for their own
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
. The question now is who is responsible for addressing
this
 enormous problem.
While
 some
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
, it is the role of
government
 to protect the
environment
, it seems that everyone should contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
protection
Add an article
the protection
show examples
 of the
environment
.
Pumping
Correct article usage
The pumping
show examples
 of pollutants into the
environment
 is one of the principal
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 global warming and has led to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
 of the
environment
.
Government
 is
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 level of authority and
responsible
Add a missing verb
is responsible
show examples
 for creating the laws in the country. They should take a step forward by implementing rules and regulations to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful emissions from the industries. Installing eco-friendly machines in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industries will help reduce the problem to some extent. At the same time, individuals should organize plantation campaigns in their vicinity to encourage
people
 to plant trees.
Increase
Correct article usage
An increase
show examples
 in population is
also
 a major contributing factor. More and more
people
 prefer cars
while
 travelling which results in air pollution and traffic congestion.
Hence
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should create laws and educate the
people
 on birth control and introduce the concept of
car pooling
Correct your spelling
carpooling
show examples
 in the cities.
People
 should prefer walking for short distances rather than driving a vehicle. Preservation of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is crucial
otherwise
 it will cause risks to human life and we won’t be able to sustain
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 a longer period of time. Both
government
 and
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 play a vital role in destroying the
environment
.
Hence
 they should work hand in hand in order to eradicate
this
 issue and take necessary measures at their level.
Submitted by kritishahi66 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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