IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that environmental problems are to be solved by individuals whereas others believe government can support the people to solve the problem ?

#people #individuals #government #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Humans are destroying the
environment
Use synonyms
 for their own
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
. The question now is who is responsible for addressing
this
Linking Words
 enormous problem.
While
Linking Words
 some
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
, it is the role of
government
Use synonyms
 to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
, it seems that everyone should contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
protection
Add an article
the protection
show examples
 of the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Pumping
Correct article usage
The pumping
show examples
 of pollutants into the
environment
Use synonyms
 is one of the principal
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 global warming and has led to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
 of the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Government
Use synonyms
 is
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 level of authority and
responsible
Add a missing verb
is responsible
show examples
 for creating the laws in the country. They should take a step forward by implementing rules and regulations to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful emissions from the industries. Installing eco-friendly machines in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industries will help reduce the problem to some extent. At the same time, individuals should organize plantation campaigns in their vicinity to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to plant trees.
Increase
Correct article usage
An increase
show examples
 in population is
also
Linking Words
 a major contributing factor. More and more
people
Use synonyms
 prefer cars
while
Linking Words
 travelling which results in air pollution and traffic congestion.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should create laws and educate the
people
Use synonyms
 on birth control and introduce the concept of
car pooling
Correct your spelling
carpooling
show examples
 in the cities.
People
Use synonyms
 should prefer walking for short distances rather than driving a vehicle. Preservation of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is crucial
otherwise
Linking Words
 it will cause risks to human life and we won’t be able to sustain
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 a longer period of time. Both
government
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 play a vital role in destroying the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
 they should work hand in hand in order to eradicate
this
Linking Words
 issue and take necessary measures at their level.
Submitted by kritishahi66 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: