Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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According to
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some people's opinion, kids should be responsible for some extra tasks
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
of school and
education
Correct article usage
the education
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process
while
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others believe that it is not an acceptable thing because
children
Use synonyms
ought to be free.
This
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essay will discuss both of these sides and my own opinion will be given. First of all, the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
sense of being responsible for something has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive results to have
completed
Correct article usage
a completed
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personality. Actually,
this
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
must be formulated from
the
Correct article usage
a
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young
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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.
Therefore
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,
children
Use synonyms
and little kids should help at home
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
cleaning, cooking easy food, working in the garden,
doing
Correct word choice
and doing
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shopping on their own. These types of
labor
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labour
show examples
help to increase
senses
Fix the agreement mistake
sense
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of competency,
accuracy
Correct word choice
and accuracy
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in talking with other people and managing their
time
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on their own.
For instance
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,
children
Use synonyms
in
Japan
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Japanese
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schools have different tasks at schools after
Add an article
the lesson
a lesson
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lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
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as cleaning restrooms and classes. Second of all,
children
Use synonyms
also
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should have free
time
Use synonyms
to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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rest, relax after lessons and enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
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friends. Evidently, free
time
Use synonyms
activities are important for mental health
developing
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development
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in
Change preposition
at
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young ages.
This
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is
also
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beneficial for motivating and involving in
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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little kids.
Moreover
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, it's necessary to integrate both education and enjoying
live
Replace the word
life
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for increasing productivity in spending
time
Use synonyms
from young
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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. As an example, free
time
Use synonyms
tasks, doing
Add an article
a hobby
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hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
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and just resting
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
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are used in countries with
developed
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the developed
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education
system
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systems
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. In my point of view, both extra responsibilities and having a rest are the main factors for growing up youth because it is impossible to
became
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become
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a person with
self control
Add a hyphen
self-control
show examples
facilities without all live knowledge. In conclusion, we should bring up
children
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,
teach
Correct word choice
and teach
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them all
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
skills and knowledge of life to provide their bright future.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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