In many countries, government spent large sum of money on the arts, and this is supported by some taxpayers as both why. Other, however, think that this money would be better spent on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Individuals are split when it comes to government spending. Some of them who are paying taxes in most nations are of the belief that government should spend a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of money
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
on
art
. Others
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
the contrary, argue that it is better to spend that money on health and
education
systems. There are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss and conclude by clearly stating my viewpoint. On the one hand, proponents of
art
claim that
art
is the most important aspect of an individual's life as it represents daily life and amusements
for instance
photography, painting
as well as
museums.
Initially
, there is a common belief that
art
can result in people's patriotism. More importantly,
art
and relevant industries of
art
can result in a good picture of one's nation
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide and it could be helpful in tourism attraction so all expenses could be considered as a huge investment in the tourism industry with a good rate of interest. From another angle, opponents respond that
while
there are important issues
for example
people's health or the
education
system there should be a priority list for policymakers to spend taxes on them. Primarily, it is obvious that without a healthy
community
Add a comma
,community
show examples
it is unlikely to perform well in other aspects including
art
.
Moreover
, for having a prosperous country there should be a good and well-designed
education
system to nurture artists for the future.
As a result
, from my ,perspective I tend to agree with the advocates of investment in health and
education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since they have a more robust argument.
Submitted by m.beirami2008 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: