Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Several people think that physical activities are just appointed for free time,
while
others consider that they are significant for the community. I am in complete agreement with the importance sport of and will explain why.
Many individuals not only do not perceive the value of exercising for society and even themselves but also
, do they put it as a last
priority in their life. Because they assume that there are more serious issues which should be paid attention to them. For example
, many parents do not offer permission for their children to register the sports courses, due to
a lack of intervals for the purpose of studying so as to be accepted in the entrance exam, in Iran. Also
, many adults do not like playing physical games
in order to have more time for making
more money.
Change preposition
to make
On the other hand
, others believe that sporting games
have a wide range of benefits for their nation. playing team games
teach
players to have more solidarity and struggle for a group aim. Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
For instance
, it seems students who play football are more able to work as a team in college study groups. in addition
, public sporting events have a main role in increasing public health. These events encourage folks to play games
or go for a walk in the big groups at parks. Therefore
, they either feel better, or their bodies start to improve their functions due to
appropriate movements. As an example, the public walking festivals have been held for ten years and it has a major effect on people’s bodily health in Turkey.
In conclusion, many people ignore sports, because of their other goals to keep time for themselves. In comparison to the first group, the other side knows the advantages of playing sports such
as improving good attributes, so it can be beneficial for them as a member of society as well as
enhance public health. I totally concur with the latter group, because the magnitude of doing physical activities cannot be neglected.Submitted by s.qanbarzadeh2020 on
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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. Try to elaborate more on the different perspectives and provide stronger justification for your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure with proper introduction and conclusion. Ensure that you have a well-defined introduction that introduces the topic and your opinion, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion.
