IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of the aging population.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
Linking Words
 the technological advancements in recent times, the dynamics of the world
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 seen a massive change in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times.
Although
Linking Words
 there have been
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of positives in the developed world, the average life expectancy has considerably decreased
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few decades.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss various reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 development and will
also
Linking Words
 suggest several measures through which
this
Linking Words
 issue can be resolved. In
this
Linking Words
 era where immense competition is present in almost all sectors,
people
Use synonyms
 are asked to complete long working hours and to complete plentiful
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tasks at their workplaces.
This
Linking Words
 leads to
people
Use synonyms
 being overwhelmed by their professional commitments.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 often complain about their stress levels and mental
health
Use synonyms
 which indeed implicates adverse effects on the
health
Use synonyms
 of
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
. A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 working 40 hours a week have lower life expectancy than those who work
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the usage of electronic devices has increased rapidly in the
last
Linking Words
 few years. Most of these devices emit harmful
radiations
Use synonyms
 which most
people
Use synonyms
 fail to notice. Take wifi router as an instance,
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 of scientists have claimed multiple times that it emits
Use synonyms
radiations
Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
show examples
 almost equal to that
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the harm caused by an X-ray. To fix
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should make lifestyle changes through which they
an
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
 get rid of
Use synonyms
radiations
Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 of the masses is getting compromised in a subtle manner in
this
Linking Words
 generation. Not only
stressful
Add a missing verb
do stressful
show examples
 and long working hours
deteriorates
Correct subject-verb agreement
deteriorate
show examples
 the
health
Use synonyms
 of individuals but at the same time, the harmful
radiations
Use synonyms
 from electronic devices play a vital role in lowering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life expectancy in the modern world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • ageing population
  • healthcare system
  • pension costs
  • workforce
  • retirement age
  • isolation
  • mental health
  • intergenerational tension
  • community programs
  • supportive housing
  • inclusive housing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: