IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of the aging population.

Due to
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 the technological advancements in recent times, the dynamics of the world
has
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have
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 seen a massive change in
the
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apply
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recent times.
Although
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 there have been
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of positives in the developed world, the average life expectancy has considerably decreased
since
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in
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 few decades.
This
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 essay will discuss various reasons behind
this
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 development and will
also
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 suggest several measures through which
this
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 issue can be resolved. In
this
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 era where immense competition is present in almost all sectors,
people
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 are asked to complete long working hours and to complete plentiful
of
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apply
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tasks at their workplaces.
This
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 leads to
people
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 being overwhelmed by their professional commitments.
As a result
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,
people
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 often complain about their stress levels and mental
health
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 which indeed implicates adverse effects on the
health
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 of
indivduals
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individuals
. A good illustration of
this
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 is the fact that
people
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 working 40 hours a week have lower life expectancy than those who work
part time
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part-time
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.
Furthermore
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, the usage of electronic devices has increased rapidly in the
last
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 few years. Most of these devices emit harmful
radiations
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 which most
people
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 fail to notice. Take wifi router as an instance,
alot
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lot
 of scientists have claimed multiple times that it emits
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radiations
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radiation
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 almost equal to that
to
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of
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 the harm caused by an X-ray. To fix
this
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,
people
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 should make lifestyle changes through which they
an
Correct your spelling
can
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 get rid of
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radiations
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radiation
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.
To conclude
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,
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overall
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the overall
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health
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 of the masses is getting compromised in a subtle manner in
this
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 generation. Not only
stressful
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do stressful
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 and long working hours
deteriorates
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deteriorate
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 the
health
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 of individuals but at the same time, the harmful
radiations
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 from electronic devices play a vital role in lowering
the
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apply
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life expectancy in the modern world.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • ageing population
  • healthcare system
  • pension costs
  • workforce
  • retirement age
  • isolation
  • mental health
  • intergenerational tension
  • community programs
  • supportive housing
  • inclusive housing
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