Some people believe that animal should be allowed to be eaten and experimented on while other think they have equal right as human being, discuss both views and your opinion.

#people #right

Many

people

have been supporting

Wrong verb form

support

show examples

the idea that

animals

should be eaten by

people

and experimented on by industries, but others advocate that

animals

must have some rights just like humans.

However

this

topic is a little bit uncomfortable to talk about for many reasons,

such

people

`s religion, culture and beliefs. To support both thoughts I`m going to bring up some good pieces of information in

this

essay. To be honest, I`m not an expert on

this

topic,

however

, part of society defends

animals

such

as mice, and rabbits, and so should have experimented on at least to discover new medicines. To support it, the New York Times brings up some information about the

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

vaccine and tests in

animals

were extremely important for good results. In my vision, animal is the only way to

become

Verb problem

keep

show examples

society safe from viruses and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

diseases.

On the other hand

, we have been living in an interconnected world where

people

are in touch with different cultures through the internet.

For example

, Brazil`s folk know exactly what

happen

Wrong verb form

happened

show examples

in Asia. Indeed,

this

looks crazy to

Brazilian

Replace the word

Brazilians

show examples

, but many countries in the Asia continent prohibit

people

to eat

Change preposition

from eating

show examples

some

animals

like caw, actually. Honestly, my opinion is that we have been living in a democracy and each one has the right

for thinking

Change preposition

to think

show examples

and believe in a different way,

otherwise

, it can not determine the future of humanity. In conclusion, I believe that each one can have their own choice about eating or not the

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

, but unfortunately, they can`t determine if is correct or not to use

animals

in their experiences to find new solutions for society.

Submitted by murilo.siqueira2012 on Sat Apr 01 2023

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task response

The essay lacks a clear and comprehensive analysis of the topic, and fails to provide relevant specific examples to support the arguments. There is a need to address the topic more directly and in a detailed manner.

coherence and cohesion

The essay's introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure of the essay is weak. The essay lacks a coherent flow of ideas and does not effectively link the supporting points with the main argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that animal should be allowed to be eaten and experimented on while other think they have equal right as human being, discuss both views and your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recyclying is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. however some buyers are sceptical to this practice. discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government spends much money for education. More money should be spent on free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.