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Band 8.5

The graph illustrates the number of birth which happens from 1920 till 2020 in China and in the USA

The graph illustrates the number of birth which happens from 1920 till 2020 in China and in the USA
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The line graph provides the proportions of births taking place in
China
Use synonyms
 and in the USA during an eight decades time frame going from 1920 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
although
Linking Words
, in 1920, both countries started with a similar number and both their rates decreased, the USA ended with greater rates. About
China
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, after the initial scale of 10% in 1920, it fluctuated during the next 20 years until it levelled off at 5% in 1940.
Next,
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the figure rose to its peak of 20% in 1950, and
then
Linking Words
, after a dramatic drop in the following 5 years, it declined gradually throughout the next 45 years.
Similarly
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, in the USA, the first analyzed data was just above
China
Use synonyms
, followed by a constant fluctuating trend interrupted
at the end
Linking Words
 of 1940 by a five-year sharp decline. Just after that, the percentage recovered reaching its peak at 15% in the same year in which
China
Use synonyms
 did it. At that point, it
finally
Linking Words
 witnessed a steady fall.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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