Some people believe that children are given too much freedom. they feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

#people #children #freedom #time #school #work

It is believed that

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apply

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currently kids get too much freedom.

Children

are often told to spend their free

time

finishing schoolwork rather than doing leisure activities.

However

, I think

children

might not only focus on studying but

also

enjoy their hobbies, and have quality

time

with family and friends which will be elaborated on

this

Change preposition

in this

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essay. First and foremost, it is often to find that youngsters use their spare

time

to finish their homework

hence

they only have limited

time

to study in school so the teacher will give them additional tasks.

For instance

, when I was a student in primary school my teacher asked me to answer some questions as homework,

then

we discussed the answer in class.

However

, it is good for

children

to explore their passion and hobby in their free

time

. They can choose some leisure activities

such

as swimming, painting and skateboarding. Having hobbies will help

children

to be more creative and increase their well-being.

In addition

, kids

also

spend their weekends with their families. As we know, quality

time

between parents and

children

is a must to create a strong bond. Taking an example, they can go for a picnic in the park and play games together.

Lastly

children

can use their leisure

time

to play

along with

their peers. Friendship in childhood is crucial to boost their social skill. As an illustration,

while

playing games they know how to communicate and interact appropriately with others. In a nutshell, there are some alternative activities for kids to spend their spare

time

including working on their tasks, exploring hobbies, and having quality

time

with their parents and peers in order to have

study-life

Correct article usage

a study-life

show examples

balance.

Submitted by sakinah.snr on Sun Apr 02 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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