IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the piw charts below show the comparion of different kinds of energy production of France in two years

the piw charts below show the comparion of different kinds of energy production of France in two years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the pie charts demonstrate five different kinds of fossil fuel in France in the
years
Use synonyms
 1995 and 2005.
overall
Linking Words
, Gas, Coal and petrol were the biggest market share in both
years
Use synonyms
 which count over half of the
production
Use synonyms
 of energy, at the same time nuclear and other kinds of
production
Use synonyms
 were followed by a small percentage over the
last
Linking Words
 10
years
Use synonyms
 period. In all types of
production
Use synonyms
, there was a small minimal change in 10
years
Use synonyms
. The highest consumer by energy
production
Use synonyms
 in the year 1995 was Coal with nearly 29.80 per cent and it showed in 2005 a very steadily increased 1% a mere 30.93.
although
Linking Words
 Gas was found at 29.63 in 1995 and It
also
Linking Words
 showed the same growth up to 30.31 % in the next 10
years
Use synonyms
. Regards the other energy
production
Use synonyms
 showed a growth of
production
Use synonyms
 of approximately 5 % in both nuclear power and other sources to 10.10 and 9.10 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, petrol was the only source which decreased Dramatically from 29.27 in 1995 to around fifty (19.55) in 2005.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, production with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: