IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Researchers show that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, advertising for food products should be banned in the same way as the cigarette advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#researchers #show #food #products #cigarette #countries
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There is growing sentiment today that over-
food
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 consumption has many disadvantages like smoking does. The solution to
this
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 condition is that the
government
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 should ban some types of
food
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 advertising in the same way as cigarette advertising. From my point of view, I do not agree with
this
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 opinion, I believe that
instead
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 of banning all
food
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 advertising, the
government
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 should raise awareness for everyone, especially
children
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.
To begin
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 with, We need to know why over-
food
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 consumption brings many negative effects on
people
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's health. First of all, eating a lot makes
people
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 overweight and obese, and
people
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 easier suffer from heart diseases, especially
children
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. Today, the appearance of fast
food
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 and junk drink advertising attracts the attention of
children
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. These types of
food
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 included a lot of oil and sugar which are the main elements that make
children
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 easier to obese. Fast
food
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 advertisements always appear on the stresses, near schools or
children
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's entertainment grounds, which makes it easier for
children
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 to notice and will consume more. The solution to
this
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 problem is that the
government
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 should limit unhealthy
food
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 advertisements
such
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 as fast
food
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, junk drink, a high percentage of sugar
food
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, etc or enact more taxes for that types of
foods
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 and change healthy
food
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 advertisements
instead
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. Encourage
people
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, especially
children
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 use healthy
food
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such
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 as barley
foods
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, milk, fruits, and protein from meats, fish, etc. The
government
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 can add more healthy
food
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 to school lunches and teach students how to keep fit and how to consume
food
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 in the right way. In conclusion, I believe that the best way to limit the number of
people
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 who consume
food
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 too much is that raise
people
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's awareness about healthy
foods
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 and limit the number of unhealthy
foods
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by khanhlinh151123 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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