IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Researchers show that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, advertising for food products should be banned in the same way as the cigarette advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#researchers #show #food #products #cigarette #countries
There is growing sentiment today that over-
food
 consumption has many disadvantages like smoking does. The solution to
this
 condition is that the
government
 should ban some types of
food
 advertising in the same way as cigarette advertising. From my point of view, I do not agree with
this
 opinion, I believe that
instead
 of banning all
food
 advertising, the
government
 should raise awareness for everyone, especially
children
.
To begin
 with, We need to know why over-
food
 consumption brings many negative effects on
people
's health. First of all, eating a lot makes
people
 overweight and obese, and
people
 easier suffer from heart diseases, especially
children
. Today, the appearance of fast
food
 and junk drink advertising attracts the attention of
children
. These types of
food
 included a lot of oil and sugar which are the main elements that make
children
 easier to obese. Fast
food
 advertisements always appear on the stresses, near schools or
children
's entertainment grounds, which makes it easier for
children
 to notice and will consume more. The solution to
this
 problem is that the
government
 should limit unhealthy
food
 advertisements
such
 as fast
food
, junk drink, a high percentage of sugar
food
, etc or enact more taxes for that types of
foods
 and change healthy
food
 advertisements
instead
. Encourage
people
, especially
children
 use healthy
food
such
 as barley
foods
, milk, fruits, and protein from meats, fish, etc. The
government
 can add more healthy
food
 to school lunches and teach students how to keep fit and how to consume
food
 in the right way. In conclusion, I believe that the best way to limit the number of
people
 who consume
food
 too much is that raise
people
's awareness about healthy
foods
 and limit the number of unhealthy
foods
.
Submitted by khanhlinh151123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: