Animals should not be used for entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadays
animals
became an activity for
people
. They entertain every day thousands of
people
.I
completele
Correct your spelling
completely
agree that it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
them and
people
can spend their time in
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
.
Animals
used to live in wild nature. Their environment different from
people'
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people's
show examples
way of living, those
animals
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
freedom rather than living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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building.
People
use them as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment in the cirque or oceanarium where they have to
trainfor
Correct your spelling
train for
food.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
dolphins
presents
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present
show examples
their show
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
and die earlier in that pool.
Such
animals
like lions and tigers
belongs
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belong
show examples
to nature, they can't spend their life behind closed doors. Conditions that they
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
in can cause massive death of the
animals
. That will have
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
show examples
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
.
People
can find a way to entertain themselves differently,
instead
of going to the shows it is better to go and do some sports or watch cinemas, or visit
Correct article usage
the theather
show examples
theather
Correct your spelling
theatre
.
Animals
surviving
Wrong verb form
survive
show examples
in the building,
while
people
just take a video for their social media. It is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
anymore
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any more
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important and interesting what
animals
feel,
people
just
want
Correct your spelling
won't
show examples
show
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to show
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
it destroys fully
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
natural environment that they used to live in.
For example
,
bear
Correct article usage
the bear
show examples
used to live in the forest, and most of the time he spends
speeping
Correct your spelling
sleeping
,
while
people
taking
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
photos with their flashlights,
shoking
Correct your spelling
shocking
bear
Correct article usage
the bear
show examples
and making him
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
uncomfartable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
comfortable
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
people
need to stop using
animals
as
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
entertainment. As it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
them,
this
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
shortens their life expectancy and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
destroys their natural environment.
Submitted by asem_tukanova on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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