IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #money #job
Social
networks
 are an important part of our life, because we get most of the news from social
networks
. And now I can tell
tous
Correct your spelling
you
 about some data
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 I have found in the table. I can identify the important indicators in
this
 table. The first
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
majority is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
“Instagram”
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
amount
Correct subject-verb agreement
amounts
show examples
33
Change preposition
to 33
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, I believe that
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 indicator so big because of interest and variety. In my opinion “Instagram” has information and content for every taste
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example: some stories for teena
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
 and different things, some news for adults, some things. So
this
 a social network popular among the
people
, But in our life has different social
networks
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 popular and in our
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 it's
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
“Twitter” Only 3% use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
, “Twitter”putting
this
 indicator at the bottom of the table. I want to notice that
also
people
 use, “Snapchat” and
this
in dicator
Correct your spelling
indicator
show examples
 amount
32
Change preposition
to 32
show examples
%, which is not much less than " Instagram”. In my opinion,
people
 aren't interested “
Twitter
Change preposition
In Twitter
show examples
”, because there
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 little interesting content,
while
 „Instagram” and “Snapchat” have all categories for interest for
people
. I think that in order to solve
this
promlem
Correct your spelling
problem
, creators should make more sections for photos and videos
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 whit-out comments. In conclusion, I believe that social
networks
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 only for fun and
enjoyable
Replace the word
enjoyment
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
 for important data about our life and
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
.
People
 use
this
 for their knowledge.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: