IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

#people #meat
Avoiding eating
meat
 becomes more and more popular
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
.
This
 trend occurred
due to
 the news
how
Correct word choice
that
show examples
meat
 is bad for
people
’s health and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 of the planet. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to elaborate
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
 idea. The first and one of the main
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
 why
people
 try to keep on a vegetarian diet is the impact of red
meat
 on human beings. For the
last
decade
Add a comma
,decade
show examples
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 have been done and they show that if individuals eat a lot of red and processed
meat
 they increase diseases
such
 as colorectal cancer,
diabetes
Correct word choice
and diabetes
show examples
 and the percentage of early death rises. Eating
this
 type of
meat
also
 damages
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
 DNA and harms to
digestive
Add an article
the digestive
show examples
 system. All
this
 investigation
relate
Correct subject-verb agreement
relates
show examples
 only to diets that primarily consist of
meat
. It doesn’t mean that consuming
meat
 going to harm
people
’s health. Another reason why
people
 don’t consume
meat
 is
misunderstanding
Add an article
a misunderstanding
the misunderstanding
show examples
 of livestock’s impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of vegetarians consider agricultural
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
, especially farms that produce
meat
, very harmful and one of the aspects that
pollutes
Change the verb form
pollute
show examples
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
. I
also
 used to think in that way, but recently I did
precise
Add an article
the precise
a precise
show examples
 and thorough analysis. I found information that cows on farms produce less than 4% of greenhouse gases and most
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
 of CO2
Emission
Fix the agreement mistake
Emissions
show examples
 are emitted from Infrastructures that are made from
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 activity. Outlining all these worries that
people
 might have about
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating
meat
 as a completely wrong action, I can come up with the idea that individuals who think in
this
 way are basically misled
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
 information.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 is full of wrong information and misinterpretations. It is the place where
people
 are getting confused. From
this
 point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 I think they need to be more watchful by making some assumptions.
Submitted by sevrukov.stepan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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