IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
The more is the capablity of a society to be kind with the prisoners, the more is the capability to maintain and improve the rule of law. It is
also
 very important in order to have a
further
 international credibility talking about the civil rights all over the world. First of all, I understand all the sentiments one can prove seeing the worst criminals of our history: Totò Riina, Jeffrey Dahmer, Silvio Berlusconi. The hate is a human sentiment, the desire of their deaths it’s obviously a human reaction, but
this
 cannot be the answer of a state. The greatness of a state is its capability to answer to the violence with a non-violent response, even knocking down in order to keep the authority witthout excesses.
Consequently
, I think being put behind bars it’s not the right way to reintroduce the prisoner into society, as our Constitution says. And in my honest opinion, it is not
also
 a good idea constrinct prisoners doing unpaid community work because in
this
 way we get worse their incapability to be economical indepent after the time passed in a
such
 coercitive institution: we should pay them for their labour. In conclusion, in order to not paving the way to the possibility of the prisoner to commit another time a crime, or even commit suicide, because of his marginality and social position, we have the moral duty to accompany independently all the people that do the wrong thing. As the prisoner should brush up on how to be a good citizen, we should help him to do it as a whole state.
Submitted by tomaiuoli2003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: