IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people get into debt buying things they don't need and can't afford what are the reasons for this behavior ? what action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays , some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 take money from
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 friends or family to buy some stuff that they don'
t
Use synonyms
 need and
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value of
this
Linking Words
 thing .
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem and
solution
Correct article usage
the solution
show examples
 . In my opinion , when
people
Use synonyms
 buy
things
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
, they feel good and think that
thies
Correct your spelling
that
 stuff give them value .
For example
Linking Words
 , when someone
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
 an expensive watch they feel that
people
Use synonyms
 will think about them with a nice idea and they will look good so the image which
people
Use synonyms
 see them , by more important than it they can
by
Correct your spelling
buy
show examples
 it or
ont
Correct your spelling
not
. The next reason is that the person who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 not responsible and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not think about the negative result which will come
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
active
Replace the word
activity
show examples
, only they think about themself and the feeling
which
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will feel at that time . The main solution for
that is
Linking Words
 to make
people
Use synonyms
 more aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem by doing some
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
show examples
 to make
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 do
this
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 more
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
 what
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 doing and do
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good
things
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , it depends on
perants
Correct your spelling
parents
 and
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 parenting for
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
, they should teach them that it,s not important to buy
things
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
 price and
thes
Correct your spelling
they
 don'
t
Use synonyms
chang
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
 any
things
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 them
also
Linking Words
 tell them that if they want
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 they should work hard to get by
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 effort and by
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 money they can buy whatever
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 want .
In addition
Linking Words
 , friends can affect them so they have to choose
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 close
people
Use synonyms
 carefully . In conclusion , there are a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 who buy
things
Use synonyms
 they don'
t
Use synonyms
 have the price of it , so the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that they think that
this
Linking Words
 stuff
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them feel better and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them value .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , there are not responsible . The suggestion to
tackel
Correct your spelling
tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem share
awerness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 and parents should take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 children .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • financial literacy
  • impulse buying
  • credit score
  • debt management
  • sustainable living
  • emotional spending
  • budgeting skills
  • peer pressure
  • retail therapy
  • frugality
  • credit limit
  • financial counseling
  • minimalistic lifestyle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: