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The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballer. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

#media #attention #lives #relationships #celebrities #actors #singers #footballer #time #people
Nowadays, more and more
celebrities
 make a lot of
people
 interested in them.
As a result
, the
lives
 and personalities of renowned
people
 like actors, musicians, and football players receive increased attention through printing or broadcasting. I, like many others, hold the notion that the mass media should pay too much attention to the
lives
 of the working class, which will be closely discussed as follows. On the one hand, the form of paparazzi,
along with
 capturing photography targets without their approval, has become a living nightmare for those who are in the limelight. Undoubtedly, we live in a world where everyone struggles with something, and not every celebrity wants to show their vulnerability. Despite the unwillingness of renowned
people
, some journalists want to attract readers who always follow up on the idols to know about their daily activities
as well as
 the latest related information. They will publish news about famous
people
 and that often gets more attention, creating entertainment for the general public by bringing out the other side of stars and
celebrities
.
Although
such
 articles are incredibly attractive to readers and sometimes put the stars to account for their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, it makes the private
lives
 of
celebrities
 gradually become less private and they cannot be comfortable even in their own houses. They always have to keep the best image in order not to let the fans down. Even they cannot comfortably date like normal
people
 because doing so can make them lose everything. Plus, the photos attached are closely linked to privacy and image rights. In fact,
celebrities
such
 as earn huge amounts of money from advertisement deals, meaning that leaking unauthorized private photos can cause our
celebrities
’ loss of income and livelihoods.
On the other hand
, the media should be more concerned about the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 or stories of the community around them since role models don’t have to be
celebrities
.
For example
, we should explore more about
many
Rephrase
how many
show examples
people
 always keep the roads clean and how they do it every day.
This
 makes it possible for
people
 to see the hardships of that work and empathize with their plight. It’s time for all of us to acknowledge that the publishing industry can be able to thrive as well with articles on those who might not have talents that many
people
 like to see on TV or in movies. Ordinary persons can
also
 become shining examples of achievement for every amazing thing they
accomplished
Wrong verb form
accomplish
show examples
, how they fight with their problems and defeat them. From my perspective, keeping the general public updated with the information about
such
lives
 actually moves audiences and viewers to tears
as well as
 encourages a healthy interest in reading among
people
. Even little-known
people
 can become the greatest cheerleaders for self-improvement and enormously generous contributors to charities, giving us hope.
In other words
,
this
 eventually boosts morale giving inspiration so that fellow citizens realize that their work is
similarly
 appreciated. To recapitulate, I agree with
this
 statement since publishing can help eminent
people
 have a more comfortable life and they can do the things they like.
Besides
, it
also
 helps
people
 see information about ordinary individuals, which is
also
 incredibly useful.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and consistent logical structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a more varied use of complex grammatical structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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