IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that children should be taught to competitive in school. Others however, think cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both views/sides/points.

#people #children #school #cooperation #team #skills #points
Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 vital in the future so many parents want to their children learn knowledge at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university. Many people often said that students ought to learn
experiences
Change preposition
from experiences
show examples
 in
school
. But the next groups of humans, illustrate
oponion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 is co-operation and together working practices are significant. That tendency has a number of benefits and
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
problems.
This
 essay will discuss both views
this
 views in support of the latter. On the one hand, the
school
 is popular
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2000 years
also
 the government
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
force curriculum programs.
Moreover
, Europe,
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
show examples
 and
America
Replace the word
American
show examples
 countries have more practices in that field. Especially,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japan state set up
efficient
Add an article
the efficient
an efficient
show examples
 educational
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 at schools so a lot of countries quote these situations
such
 as Azerbaijan and Georgia.
Furthermore
,
Change preposition
in a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
last
 decade that tendency became useful things for
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
.
For example
, The reports of Azerbaijan statistics numbers
demonstration
Replace the word
demonstrate
show examples
last
 ten years percentage had
an
Change the article
a
show examples
gradual increase and reached a peak
this
 rate was 97%. That high rate of quantity because Azerbaijan habitants
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 ten
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 there are some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the reason many students
intent
Replace the word
intend
show examples
apply
Fix the infinitive
to apply
show examples
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
 fields.
On the other hand
, currently time the studying development is unsatisfying for some parents, for the reason the
school
 be child un effective in
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
work
 life. Obviously, those humans
eager
Add a missing verb
are eager
show examples
cooperation
Change preposition
for cooperation
show examples
 and
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 because
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 and others provide some skills. Indeed, particularly
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some skill
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 that the
school
 system.
For instance
, the
America
Replace the word
American
show examples
employeers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
 publish
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
article
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 journal ,
that is
name
Wrong verb form
named
show examples
 ''Special Practise'.
Recent
Change preposition
In recent
show examples
 year
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
company
Change noun form
company's
show examples
atmospfere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
gradually
Add a missing verb
has gradually
show examples
 growth so
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 condition wants some special knowledge
such
Change preposition
as team
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 practise, agile management and social
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
. In conclusion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some general
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 so each group has a few
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 and some
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. The essay is discussed
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 view and
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aspects.
At the end
 of ,
hopefully
Add the comma(s)
,hopefully
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 next decade the government must
created
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
diffusion
Correct article usage
a diffusion
show examples
 educational system.
Submitted by vasif.askerlii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: