Some people believe that animal should be allowed to be eaten and experimented on while other think they have equal right as human being, discuss both views and your opinion.

#people #right

It is often argued by some that ought to permit the slighter of

animals

as well as

for the experiment, it is not a problem. Others argue that

animals

have the same rights as mankind, they similar living things.

While

critters should

treat

Wrong verb form

be treated

show examples

nicely and

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

their rights. I believe that beasts are the best nutrition for humans to take as a meal and should

use

Wrong verb form

be used

show examples

for testament. On the one hand, creatures should not be exploited by human creatures. they have the same feeling as homo sapiens. For that reason, it is not fair to them to treat them in another way.

As people

Correct word choice

People

show examples

treat their cows,

horse

Fix the agreement mistake

horses

show examples

and

dog

Fix the agreement mistake

dogs

show examples

for cultivating fields but don’t feed them properly.

For instance

Change preposition

according to a

show examples

report by the World Life Department, many Farmers do heavy work with their brute and do not provide healthy nutrition which is required for their health.

However

, I believe that these days technology brought a lot of cultivating machines through which cultivators do their work easily

instead

of being beasties.

On the other hand

, brute creations should be legalized to eat and practice for experimental purposes because it is normal for human creatures. As everything is used for some reason,

therefore

animals

can be used as food or experimental ideas. Take an example of a medicine company that before applying any drug to society, it is essential to test on beastie because of which many humans are alive.

However

, I believe without the slaughter of chickens and cows, there will be a shortage in the nutrition of humanity.

Due to

nutritional deficiency, there is nothing bad about butchery

animals

. In conclusion,

animals

should be allowed to eat a meal and use it for experiments. But mankind should be cautious about their health as well because

animals

are essential for human life as food or as a testament.

Submitted by hkhan8597 on Mon Apr 03 2023

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task response

The essay does not adequately address the task prompt. It fails to present a balanced discussion of the topic and does not clearly present a personal opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The ideas are poorly organized and the essay lacks clear introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

309 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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