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Band 4.5

Some people think that technological development can reduce crime, while others think that it would encourage crime.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #development #crime
There are controversial perspective heating
debate
Correct article usage
the debate
show examples
 over how
technology
 affects crimes.
While
 some claim that technological advancements help reduce the number of criminal activities, the opposite makes the statement that it actually increases the
crime
 rate.
While
 the latter is valid to some extent,I would consider myself an advocate of the former. Without a shadow of a doubt,developments in
technology
 have paved the way for an emerging kind of
crime
:
cyber-
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
show examples
crime
.Nowadays,with the popularity of the internet cyber crimes can easily hack into your phone or your computer to steal user information.In some
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
case
Add a comma
,case
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 the information would be sold to a third party
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are advertising
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
 in order to run ads,but in the worst
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 hackers can hack into bank accounts and steal money from
Add an article
the user
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
.
For example
, a number of frauds in Vietnam happened to middle-aged women, who were swindled out of millions by imposters acting as their children or relatives online.
Hence
,The development of the internet has created risks for people.
On the other hand
,modern
technology
 has significantly reduced the
crime
 rate in many ways.The cameras are
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those installed in public areas
such
 as malls, streets and office buildings to help minimize
crime
.The growth of DNA
technology
 and many other identification devices
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it easier to catch criminals.
Thus
,High
technology
 helps a lot in catching offenders. In conclusion, I believe technological progress could contribute to the reduction of crimes. Yet, people should be educated to apply their technical skills in a productive way.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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