IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with thier work. To what extent do you agree:?

#artists #salaries #government #thier #work
Any profession would feel grateful if they get an additional source of income from the higher authorities and the same is believed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many people that the artisans would be benefited from the same.
However
, I personally have a neutral stance towards the said notion and my view will be supported in the following paragraphs. Ostensibly, any
work
 of art depicts the culture of a nation and the same can be true that funding the people who are involved in
this
type
 of
work
 form from the ministry would highlight a positive image of a
country
.
As a result
 of
this
type
 of
support
, it could bring an
increase
 in revenue from
this
type
 of industry. To cite an example, there are many novice painters who display their art form in exhibitions and have received financial
support
 from the cabinet ministry have helped them to
increase
 their earnings and
thus
increase
 the share of the total revenue for a
country
 in
this
 industry.
Moreover
, helping an artisan
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 subsidizing their
work
 could
increase
 the likelihood of more people taking
this
type
 of profession and can
increase
 the possibility of producing a future prominent art worker for a
country
.
On the other hand
, there are various reasons for financial help from the government that could result in various negative impacts .
Firstly
, there are many artists who earn through various additional sources to
support
 their livelihood and in
this
 digital
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
 there are many ways to publicize their
work
.
For example
, there are many digital platforms available now as compared to the past wherein any person can showcase and promote their
work
 and one of the available platforms is youtube.
Also
,
this
type
 of career has a high potential for earning and
therefore
, there is no direct correlation between the salary and the
type
 of
work
 a person is doing. To recapitulate, In my standpoint neither agree nor do I disagree with the said notion as it can
increase
 the revenue for the government and
also
 simultaneously should project a positive image for a
country
 and will
increase
 the workforce in
this
 sector.
However
, a person indulged in
this
type
 of
work
 has numerous ways to
support
 their living and
thus
 the funding received from the higher authority will not be beneficial. In the above paragraphs, I have displayed relevant points supporting
this
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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