IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime level?

#crime #countries #world #people #trend #level
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In recent days the crime rate has increased
in
Change preposition
apply
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all around the world. Because of younger generation people in the countries. let us elaborate
the
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on the
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 root cause
for
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of
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this
Linking Words
 scenario.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the cause for
this
Linking Words
 trend. Most of
Linking Words
this crime
Fix the agreement mistake
these crimes
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 happen
due to
Linking Words
 poverty and unemployment.
Due to
Linking Words
 the certain increase in population and the cost of living increasing they cannot able to manage
this
Linking Words
 situation. They don’t even have
patience
Change the article
the patience
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 to find
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job or cannot able to fit
in to
Join the words
into
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. And
also
Linking Words
, no proper guidance to
these generation
Change the determiner
this generation
these generations
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where
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on where
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 to find, how to find,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job.
Certain
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In certain
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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 they had chosen the wrong direction to get more money without any proper
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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.
Fix the agreement mistake
Example
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Examples
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For examples
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: They do some robberies in
the
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apply
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houses,
Supermarket
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supermarkets
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, Roads,
Even
Correct word choice
and Even
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bank
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banks
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also
Linking Words
. Some of them do even worst like murder they get money from
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 and kill
Add an article
the person
a person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 they ordered. And
also
Linking Words
 sell
the
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apply
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Drugs even human trafficking.
In
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On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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 for
this
Linking Words
 situation need to blame the government
they
Correct word choice
because they
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are not think
Change the verb form
are not thinking
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 about these youngster lives. They need to come up with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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plans and
also
Linking Words
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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start
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new industries and companies to create
the
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apply
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job opportunity to minimize the problem. These governments need to form an organisation to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new skills and to encourage them to start
the
Correct article usage
apply
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small-scale industries by giving
the
Correct your spelling
them
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 funds and
also
Linking Words
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
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 them
start
Add the particle
to start
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 their own start-up. Most
Change preposition
of they
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 need to choose what they are we cannot give them the spoon feeding to them.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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