The prevention of health problems is more important than treatment and medicine. Therefore, governments should spend more money on educating people about healthy lifestyles instead of curing illnesses. How far do you agree with this statement?

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In recent years, there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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been growing concerns about
health
Use synonyms
issues with some arguing that states should pay more attention
on
Change preposition
to
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prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
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of illness,
while
Linking Words
others believe that treating diseases is the only way to stay healthy. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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will explore my own point of view
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
controversial issue. First and foremost,
health
Use synonyms
is the most valuable aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
people's life. It is essential to avoid
health
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
,
due to
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this
Linking Words
there is no denying that government should allocate more financial resources to promote
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle.
For
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instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
it is essential to encourage children for doing exercise. They boost
Use synonyms
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of
adolescent
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adolescents
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and children and help them to be in good shape. Schools should incorporate in their curriculum, more subjects with physical activity
such
Linking Words
as football and basketball.
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Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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it is important to educate people about healthy diets and distribute more information about
detrimental
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the detrimental
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effect
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effects
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of junk food
such
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as fast food and
high sugar
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high-sugar
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drinks.
On the other
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hand
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,hand
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there
are
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is
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some
sickness
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sicknesses
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which
require
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requires
show examples
only treatment like
phisician
Correct your spelling
physical
physician
trauma,
bone
Correct word choice
and bone
show examples
fractures. In
this
Linking Words
case
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,case
show examples
curing is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
solely
Change the word
sole
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way to save a life. Undoubtedly, in
this
Linking Words
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
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is crucial that
national
Correct article usage
the national
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healthcare system is equipped well to help the population. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
prevention of illness is significantly important in today's world because it provides people to live happy and
fulfilment
Replace the word
fulfilling
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life and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
firmly opine with
this
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statement.
However
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government
Add an article
the government
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should keep in mind about
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
of various
illnes
Correct your spelling
illness
which can't
be prevent
Change the verb form
be prevented
show examples
.
Submitted by dias-orazbaev on

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