IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that hard work is vital for success, while others think that education guarantees success more than anything. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

#people #work #success #education #guarantees #support #position
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Some would argue that
success
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 is the outcome of someone's
dedication
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,
while
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 others think that having an
education
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 is an absolute necessity to ensure
success
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. In my opinion, I believe that
education
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 is essential.
However
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, even with
education
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, one will not be able to progress without
dedication
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 and
determination
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, which are components of
success
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. I would argue that even without
education
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, a person with
dedication
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 and
determination
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 to achieve their dreams can still be successful. Not all highly educated people find
success
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 in life. There are those who did not finish secondary or university but somehow managed to be successful in their chosen career paths. The story of Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple company,
for instance
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, is a high school dropout who does not have a diploma under his belt. His hard work, perseverance, and attitude toward attaining his goals led him to victory in the end, making him famous and one of the richest men in the business.
On the other hand
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,
education
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 ensures a person's future in any job placement.
However
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,
this
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 will not sustain in the long term if it does not go
along with
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 the right character and attitude toward work. When comparing a hard-working newcomer who is energetic, persevering, and diligent, to a lazy old staff member in the company, the latter would likely be promoted and recognized. Teenagers in today's generation,
for instance
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, can still be successful in the business sector even if they do not obtain a higher academic qualification, as they often say in interviews, "
determination
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 is the key to
success
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. In conclusion, I acknowledge the importance of
education
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 to ensure a successful career path in life.
However
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, I would argue that hard work,
determination
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, and
dedication
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 have a significant impact on
success
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."
Submitted by lsc_00000 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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