IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

#places #world #tourism #source #income
There is no denying the fact that these days there are plenty of places in the world that earn money from
tourism
.
However
,
tourism
that is
 not well managed can be a huge source issue. The following paragraph will elaborate benefits
as well as
 drawbacks with a
responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
reasonable
 conclusion. The first and foremost main advantage is that
such
 a movement will definitely develop and increase significantly the economic system in the
city
. To put it more simply, plenty of people will come for holiday or just to relax and
thus
 they will spend their money there and fuel the
city
's prosperity. Another point worth
nothing
Correct your spelling
noting
show examples
 is that a lot of new workplaces
as well as
 job offers will appear on the labour market. To be more precise, plenty of employers will be looking for people to work especially during the summer.
In addition
,
this
 is a mesmerising opportunity for students and teenagers to earn some money for daily basics. Meanwhile,
tourism
also
 has some major disadvantages that are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
city
 and community. To cite an example,
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
show examples
 of popular monuments and magnificent landmarks
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
 of the development of
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate.
Besides
 that, road traffic can be unduly limited and caused by a large inflow of tourists, which can be very uncomfortable for locals.
To sum up
,
tourism
 has certain drawbacks like
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
 of crime rate and simultaneously it
also
 has an extremely positive impact on the
city
 economy. I wholeheartedly believe that these benefits of
tourism
 outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by jula.wierzba on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: