IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some experts believe that in an already affluent country,
further
 economic
growth
 does not enhance the
satisfaction
 of its citizens.
However
, I completely disagree with
this
 viewpoint.
While
 it is true that there are limitations to what money can achieve, an increase in economic wealth can still significantly improve the quality of
life
 and
satisfaction
 of the
people
. First and foremost, economic
growth
 is just one aspect of
life
satisfaction
 and can only please
people
 to a certain extent. From my perspective, there is a limit to the
satisfaction
 that material possessions can provide. Most
people
 require basic necessities
such
 as shelter, food, and money to cover other essentials. Once these basic needs are met, additional wealth becomes less impactful.
Moreover
, well-being and relationships are critical components of
life
satisfaction
, not merely economic
growth
. To illustrate, a person can be extremely wealthy, but if they suffer from a prolonged illness, true
satisfaction
 remains elusive.
On the other hand
,
while
 additional economic
growth
 can enhance individual
satisfaction
, it is essential to ensure that other sectors,
such
 as infrastructure, are
also
 well-developed.
For instance
, even if individuals can afford expensive cars, they cannot fully enjoy their experience if the roads are poorly maintained.
Thus
, a balance between economic
growth
 and infrastructure development is necessary.
Additionally
, an abundance of economic resources can lead to advancements in technology and healthcare, benefiting citizens beyond mere materialistic
satisfaction
. In conclusion,
while
 it is true that
people
 need more than just economic
growth
 for
overall
life
satisfaction
, I support the view that economic prosperity significantly contributes to the
overall
satisfaction
 of a nation's citizens. The benefits of increased economic wealth can extend to improvements in infrastructure, technology, and healthcare, thereby enhancing the quality of
life
.
Submitted by Date on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by providing a clear argument against the viewpoint that further economic growth does not enhance satisfaction in affluent countries. To take the essay to the next level, you can provide a few more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibits logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, to further improve coherence, ensure that each idea flows smoothly into the next. You can use more linking phrases to create seamless transitions between points.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic. This adds significant strength to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives it a solid structural foundation.
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